Apartheid: an apartheid state’s minority oppresses its non-white majority
Genocide: the deliberate extermination of a people
Ethnic Cleansing: the removal of an ethnic population from a community
Refugees: people displaced from their homes by war
Right of Return
Zionists: people who believe that Jews have a right to a homeland
Killing babies: a special and horrific case of war’s collateral damage
October 7th
Goals
Coda
I sent a link to this essay to a friend of mine, a man in his 60’s, asking for feedback. He replied: I really don't know enough to comment. Got to do some reading!
He did not mention what he needed to read or how long he would need before feeling competent to comment, so I figured I would help him out. I have a young friend who is a bit of an expert using ChatGPT, at least compared with me. So, I asked him to get feedback from ChatGPT. He fed ChatGPT this question: Can you proofread this essay to check for factual or logical errors?
Here is ChatGPT’s reply, with a) boldfacing to alert the reader that ChatGPT has given its stamp of approval to some data that I have claimed to be factual, and b) {bracketed} comments of mine. When I write “you” I am speaking directly to ChatGPT
So, ChatGPT, take it away!
Your essay presents a strong viewpoint, but there are some factual inaccuracies and areas where clarification could help avoid logical errors {I did not find any "factual inaccuracies" or “logical errors” in your analysis; please point them out} or oversimplifications. Here are some points to consider:
- Israel’s Demographics: The figures you’ve presented for Israel’s religious demographics—74% Jewish, 18% Muslim, 2% Christian—are roughly accurate, but the “other 6%” may need further clarification as they generally include smaller religious groups and those who identify as “other” in censuses {why? All I am trying to do is show that Jewish Israel is not 100% Jewish, unlike the Muslim Arab countries in the region}. Additionally, stating that 68% of Israeli Jews were born in Israel is correct but the breakdown of descendants from European and Arab Muslim countries could be more nuanced {why? All I am trying to do is show that Israel is not a WHITE colonizing power}. Some Jews from Arab countries (Mizrahi Jews) also have complex histories of migration and identity that could be explored more accurately {not relevant to my argument, one way or another}.
- Rights of Israeli Arabs: While Israeli Arabs do have citizenship rights, the claim that they “have more rights than the common man and woman in any majority Muslim population” is a broad {and accurate} generalization. In practice, Israeli Arabs face systemic challenges, such as unequal allocation of resources in education and infrastructure and disparities in housing. Though they have voting rights and representation in the Knesset, there are ongoing debates {there are no "debates" in Gaza} about whether they experience full equality in comparison to Jewish citizens. {The same can be said of poor or undereducated Israeli Jews, the same can be said of poor or undereducated people the world over. And where else in the Arab Muslim world do they have as many rights?}.
- Genocide Definition: Your definition of genocide is correct, but the comparison of population growth rates between Palestinians and Jews doesn’t directly refute claims of genocide. Genocide involves intent to destroy a people, in whole or in part, and is not solely measured by population numbers. {Are you completely nuts? Intent with no action is just a thought; genocide is ALL action! And if intent defines genocide, look at every Palestinian charter for clear statements of their intent to destroy the Jewish state and all its inhabitants; the only Israeli intent to destroy a people is the PM’s stated goal of destroying Hamas, the political-military force in Gaza, not the larger population of Palestinians, not genocide, but war}. The “2% of Gaza’s population killed” argument simplifies the complexities of conflict and casualty counts {you prefer complexity and confusion?}. Additionally, framing the argument as “Maybe you don’t care unless Jews are the killers” is an emotionally charged statement that might undermine your credibility in presenting a balanced argument {guilty as charged}.
- Ethnic Cleansing: The term ethnic cleansing, like genocide, has a specific meaning: the forced removal of a population. Your statistics about Jewish populations in Arab countries after 1948 are largely accurate, but many scholars suggest that the exodus of Jews from Arab lands was influenced by a mix of factors including persecution, state-sponsored campaigns, and the broader Arab-Israeli conflict {and fleeing for one’s life is not “forced removal”?}. It's debatable whether all of these cases qualify as ethnic cleansing, as some involved complex voluntary {oh, gimme a break!} migration patterns, while others were indeed forced.
- Palestinian Refugees: The statement that Palestinians are the only refugee group where descendants are still considered refugees (under UNRWA) is largely correct {as is the point I am making about their ridiculous and unique permanent refugee status, which keeps them from moving on with their lives}. However, it's important to acknowledge that this classification is a result of international decisions and policies {by people with a long history of treating Jews … differently}, and not necessarily a manipulation of refugee status. The assertion that Palestinians in Israel “live better lives” than refugees or people in other Muslim countries is also a broad {and accurate} claim that doesn’t take into account the diversity of experiences and challenges faced by different populations {oh stop; ChatGPT can generate 2000 words where 200 would do; the level of detail that they claim to prefer would only detract from my readers’ understanding what I am trying to say, valid or otherwise}.
- Right of Return: The contrast between the Palestinian and Israeli versions of the right of return is valid, but describing the Palestinian version as “What is yours is mine” is pejorative {yeah, OK, so?}. This kind of language detracts from an objective analysis. {good point! Is an "objective analysis" what I want to write?}. The Palestinian right of return is based on their claim to property and land lost during the 1948 war {please explain the validity of such claims!}, while the Israeli version is grounded in the Law of Return for Jews. A more neutral comparison {how do you make theft neutral?} would strengthen your argument.
- Zionists and Anti-Zionists: The idea that there are more Christian Zionists than Jewish Zionists is a point worth elaborating on {not really!; all I want to convey is that most people who call themselves Zionists are not even Jews!}, as Christian Zionism has significant political and religious roots, particularly in the U.S. Regarding anti-Zionism, it’s important to distinguish between opposition to Israeli policies {who calls that anti-Zionism? That would make ME an anti-Zionist!} or the <opposition to the> existence of a Jewish state and outright support for violence against Jews {opposition to the existence of the Jewish state is 100% clear support of violence against Jews; if you think otherwise, you believe in fairies}. Conflating all anti-Zionists with people who support “killing Jews anywhere” {OK, maybe only in Israel or any majority Muslim country} oversimplifies a complex issue {complex? What is complex about it?}.
- Killing Babies: The topic of civilian casualties in conflict is always sensitive {OK, so?}. While your claim that the IDF does not deliberately target civilians may be supported by official policy, there have been accusations and investigations by international organizations {them again} that challenge this. On the other hand, groups like Hamas have been documented targeting civilians, which is a critical distinction. {I guess so!}
- October 7th: The statement that antisemitism has existed for 2,000 years is accurate, and your explanation of some of the historical causes is generally correct, though oversimplified {ChatGPT just hates simplicity and generalizations; but a ChatGPT version of my short essay would be ten times as long. ChatGPT’s critique of my essay is 2x as long as my essay}. The sentence “Maybe because Jews have been perceived as too successful but always by devious means” could be rephrased to avoid reinforcing harmful stereotypes, even while discussing them{OK, fine, you rephrase it!}.
- Coda: The final section is a personal commentary that seems out of place in an otherwise politically charged essay. {What??} If you intend to use it as a rhetorical device, it would benefit from further elaboration or explanation to connect it to the broader themes of the essay.
Summary of Suggested Improvements:
- Avoid generalizations about Israeli Arabs and the rights of people in Muslim-majority countries. {Why? Good generalizations are very useful for short essays; ChatGPT keeps insisting that I write a book where an essay of less than 1000 words makes all my points, accurately}
- Clarify the difference between population growth and genocide, and avoid inflammatory language. {see above}
- Use more precise language regarding ethnic cleansing and the Jewish exodus from Arab lands {if a minority population is threatened by a nation's government, and they escape before being captured, is that not "cleansing"?}.
- Reframe the Palestinian right of return discussion in a less pejorative manner. {only if theft can be made non-pejorative}
- Be cautious when discussing anti-Zionism and avoid broad stereotypes or assumptions. {why? Anti-Zionism calls for the end of any Jewish state; it looks pretty antisemitic to me, to anyone with a working brain}.
- Consider more nuance in discussions of military tactics and civilian casualties. {How about all the civilian casualties suffered by Israelis while NOT at war?}
- This would help provide a more balanced, factually grounded argument. {My argument IS factually grounded, ChatGPT said so seven times. Lack of balance is not the author’s fault; it is the reality of the situation. Many of the claims of the Palestinian side are a clear lesson in George Orwell’s doublethink.}
{Antisemitism did not appear for the first time last October, nor in 1948, nor in the 1890’s, nor 500 years ago, and it even has a checkered past in the good ole USA. It is sad, but predictable, that it has reared its head recently among brilliant college freshmen with no history of caring about history.}
{with a nod to Kurt Vonnegut, “and so it goes.”}
{I can only hope that my words make a difference. But I'm not holding my breath; most antisemites deny their own Jew hatred, even to themselves.}
Addendum: Sunday, 10/13/2024
Happy 35th Birthday, AOC!
I wonder if the definition of a Zionist - someone who believes that Jews have a right to their own homeland - makes it clear that an anti-Zionist is one who believes otherwise. I see no wiggle-room for any anti-Zionist to claim that he is not an antisemite. Yes, I know: there are Jewish anti-Zionists; and yes, there are antisemitic Jews. We are a rowdy bunch: ask 100 Jews for an opinion on a single question and you will get 102 opinions! And some of these Jews live in Israel!
No comments:
Post a Comment
I encourage praise, gratitude and especially criticism that is useful. Be polite. Tell your friends.