A Black and White Fantasy

A medium-large plantation somewhere in South Carolina, 1850 

Sorry, I couldn't find an image of a white master speaking to his black chattel

“Colonel” Phineas Beauregard: Listen up, you darkies. You men and women are my slaves, I own you. But one hour after I have my say and you have all your questions answered, you will all be FREE men and women, free to leave or free to stay, but free! And I will give you all papers stating that once you were my slave but now you are free.

But consider, what may happen should you decide to leave. My neighbors are not as liberal-minded as I am, they may not take to you walking another inch Northward, free men or slave, you will likely as not be hung from a juniper tree until you are dead, or you will be captured as slaves for some other master’s use. Just consider that.

On the other hand, should you decide to stay on the plantation, and I urge you to pay strict attention here, you will be asked to work, for as few or as many hours per day as you like, for as few or as many days in the week as you like, and every season I will give you one third of OUR profits, to distribute among yourselves as you all together see fit. The revenues that are gained from the sale of what we grow are my sole income, and they will now be your income too. I fully expect that many of you will take ownership in our common enterprise and work your tails off, once you really understand that you are really working for your selves, for your own futures. Lastly, while you now live in shacks not fit for swine, I urge you to use some hours of your day every day, to build homes for yourselves and your families. Finally, those of you who are so disposed, we will teach you to read and write. 

Any questions. 

A slave: Massa, are you serious? 

Beauregard: Yes. Any other questions? 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

What makes this a fantasy, and not something that could ever have happened -- good idea that it may be, excellent idea that it may be -- is that “Colonel” Beauregard would not have lasted a week after his neighbors heard what he was up to. 

My most astute readers will surely notice that Colonel Beauregard’s scheme is capitalism at its best, its most enlightened and its most durable. They will also have noticed that American capitalism as it is practiced today is nowhere as benevolent, or revered, as Beauregard’s version. 

Is anyone waiting for the American working class to rise up and demand its share of the profits? That would be Class Warfare, wouldn’t it? But Class Warfare does not await a revolt of the masses; class warfare has been waged against the working class since the first days of our republic.